Do We Get To Be Ashamed About Our Bad Stuff?

 

THU Evening Prayer Reflection 092420 (PS 83; Esther 7:1-10)

Shame is not a good feeling to have. However, the more I researched about it, I realized that without it, we couldn’t imagine a sincere repentance. Shame brings out from within us [compuctio which is a feeling of guilt or moral scruple that prevents or follows the doing of something bad.]. First, I noticed it in our Psalm’s reading: Ps 83:16. It surprises us with an unusual petition: “Cover their faces with shame O Lord; that they may seek your name.” Another translation says: “utterly disgrace them until they submit to your name O Lord.” The dictionary.com defines ‘shame’ as a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. It seems like the psalmist was hoping God would orchestrate an occasion for a person to experience this feeling of shame so that they may repent and come back to God. Is there a feeling that Psalms do not describe?

There is a proverb in my native culture that says “No counsel is valued when a person is on the way to the act, it gets valued after.” Usually that’s when a person is ready to express remorse or regret once the consequences have been fully experienced. In a case where a warning was given, feelings of shame may also follow. It is the “I told you so” makes us feel embarrassed. Some cultures are more prone to experience this much deeper than others because of the shame-honor worldview. This is a worldview that is based on concepts of pride and honor. Often the appearances are what counts. The nation of Israel and its surroundings would most likely have had such culture as well. In the book of Esther, Haman the Agagite found himself in a bit of a pickle. Queen Esther denounced him and his plans to destroy all the Jews before the King. Esther 7: 8 says that: “as the words left the mouth of the king, they covered Haman’s face.” Why were they covering Haman’s face in front of an angry king? Was that a cultural way of hiding a shameful face? Is that what people say about fear of losing face? Maybe.

We are like Haman, because we have sinned and we still sin. Not having shame about it, is definitely a negative thing! If someone was told that he/she is shameless, it is certainly an insult! Haman began with an intense hatred towards Mordechai the Jew. This hatred was so intense that he wanted to go a step further and destroy all the Jews. This was fueled by selfish pride and a desire to maintain power at all costs, even the destruction of a people group. God disapproves of plans like this. It never ends well. Through centuries, this same hatred has claimed many lives… The Spanish inquisition (1400’s) and the Nazi Germany (30-40’s). Any such attempts to wipe out a people group is always met with a heavy hand from God. Haman paid with his life.

Shame and guilt are related but they are different. Kevin DeYoung wrote that our world is confused about shame. “Shame is not a small matter. It occurs 174 times in 161 verses in the Bible.” The bottom line is that we are supposed to feel bad about our bad stuff. Maybe he was thinking more about our daily failures such as a ‘messy house’ or ‘gaining unwanted pounds’ or even ‘our past’ which wrongly makes us feel embarrassed, dirty and ashamed. DeYoung says that guilt makes us say things like: we have treated others unkindly, but shame makes us think that we are horrible people. Shame is totally the worst and it has long-lasting damaging effects. Shame is not a good feeling to have. It gets worse when a person is projecting it to others, which is really emotional abuse.

The problem that many Christians confront, is the thought that the way to make hurting people feel better is to simply eliminate the category of shame altogether. Things like: Follow your dreams, ignore that inner sense of moral compass that generates shame, be true to yourself, there is no bad choice… don’t feel bad. Yet if we look at scriptures, we see many servants of God say: “O my God, I am ashamed, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens (Ezra 9:6-7)” No, there is nothing wrong with being ashamed with what is wrong. For Christians, that should be a given. But also, we cannot be ashamed of the name of Jesus. When we sin, we should feel bad, we should cover our faces with shame. The Bible has a remedy for shame: We deserve to be humiliated because of our sins but God sent His Son to be humiliated and condemned in our place. Christ suffered and died for our sin and our shame. (Mark 15: 16-32)

Go ahead, feel bad for the bad stuff you have done. Own it. Turn from it, run to Christ. He has the scars to prove that our shame was paid off.  Amen.