Bear With One Another in Love

 Bearing with One Another During the COVID-19 Stay-at-Home Order – Counseling One Another

WED Evening Prayer Reflection 102820 (Eph 4:1-16)

As I was reading this passage of Holy Scripture, I came upon this verse: “Bearing with one another in love.” It seems that the Apostle Paul was careful with his choice of words, something we can all learn from. Many a times we speak before we had a chance to think about things deeply. Paul seemed to have been responding to a problematic situation in the Ephesian church, I think this is why he was giving this exhortation. Paul gave a list of exhortations to edify the church, but I chose this particular phrase because of its implications in our lives. Some translations use the word forbearing. This word makes us think of being more tolerant, or patient in the face of provocation. We could also say to show self-control, patience or long suffering. If one can imagine how many times, we have been upset by our brothers and sisters and how easily it is for us to react in ways that we would regret later, definitely this exhortation is for us. It asks us to bear with other’s shortcomings out of a principle of love. This can be a tough test for anyone because we are being encouraged to go against our impulsive reactionary selves. The more grace and forgiveness we give out, the further they reach.

I am sure we have observed several difficult relationships. The sad part is that for every failed relationship, there is always at the base a breakdown of the habit of dishing out grace and forgiveness… If the Ephesian church was facing a similar issue, I can understand the reasons why the Apostle Paul would ask them to bear with one another in love. Paul is saying that a life lived as a Christian is the answer; a life pursuant of love, purity and holiness. This Christian life is the opposite of a life of pride. Our culture values pride, and being boastful of oneself. Things that elevates one’s successes, qualities and talents. The humble and the lowly of heart don’t do that; they are always ready to learn from Jesus who was ultimately the humble one because he was God and yet He humbled himself and came to live in our midst, taking on bodily form. The Bible says that God is love and we learn that love does not boast, it is not proud, it is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor 13:4-5).

We must do our utmost. If others quarrel with us, we must take all possible care and not quarrel with them. If they despise us and hate us, we must not despise and hate them. We must learn to forgive others as we are willing to forgive ourselves. Give others a break in the same way as you wish others to give you a break. We have no idea what brings people to the brink, we have no idea what most people are struggling with (severe anxiety or mental illness or insurmountable difficulties), therefore we must be patient with them so we don’t push people over the edge. Paul’s exhortation was destined to Christians in Ephesus but truly it regards every Christian believer. My view is that we are to treat unbelievers even better, so they can enjoy the sweetness of Christian life flavor.

This sweetness is exactly what Paul is advocating for: Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13), Besides, forbearance is the fruit of the Holy Spirit as well as gentleness and self-control. We live in a world where industries are geared towards rush consumerism where self-control is rather discouraged. There is a strong worldly appeal to our desires where our consumerism culture counts on our impulsive reactions and our sensation seeking to survive, and this has a huge capacity to send a Christian life into chaos. Paul needed to teach this young church to watch it, least the habit of dishing out grace and forgiveness is forgotten.

Paul explains further that we are part of one body, joined and knitted together where each part when working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love. What a great analogy! If we are working as we were meant to, then the body will prosper and grow, but if there is a root of bitterness, things begin to sour as growth is inhibited. V 15. Paul tells us that by speaking the truth in love, we must grow up into Christ who is the head. We must grow up into maturity, to the fullest measure of Christ’s stature! Hence the reason, we should study these letters of Paul with great interest, because they also concern our very own lives in the here and now.

Amen.

 

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