Our Most Important Ambitions Under Jesus Rule

THU Evening Prayer Reflection 081221 (2 Sam 15: 1-18; Mark 10: 32-45)

Today’s scriptures made me think of the man in the mirror. Not just the title of Michael Jackson’s song but a catch phrase that brings upfront Jesus words in Matt 7: 5: “First, remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye.” Humans have tendencies to focus on the failings of others but seldom, we take time to focus on our own failings. There comes a time in life when we look back at what we did in the past and think: “What was I thinking!” Especially when we look at our old pictures. Did I have enough time to think about that? Or Was I thinking it was the right thing to do at the time? This catch-phrase of the man in the mirror, invites one to look at his/her own life, the decisions/choices made, and even our attitudes towards others. Today’s readings definitely invite us to look at the life of Absalom as if he was standing before a mirror. Is he seeing what we are seeing? Of course, we have the advantage of knowing how his life turned out after a series of decisions he made, but still it is a good perspective for us to consider our present lives as if watched by multitudes behind us in front of a mirror.

It is frightening, isn’t it? Absalom had gone far on a premeditated revenge rampage and ended up killing Amnon. His father the King did not talk to him for two years. When finally, they were able to talk, he started conspiring against his father the King. What was he thinking? Was his goal the honors of being a King? Couldn’t he have waited to be made King? Did he doubt that it couldn’t have happened without him making a move? This is exactly what God does not endorse. Yes, Amnon was wrong to take advantage of Absalom’s sister. But two wrongs do not make it right. Killing Amnon in revenge was not a good solution. Now the King was grieving his son, and now Absalom’s life would never be the same because of the murder of his half brother Amnon. I know we are looking back into his life’s decisions but the truth is when we are in the middle of pain, we should be careful not to make any rush decisions, which we might come to regret later. In this way Absalom reaction is very much human. We want revenge. At times we don’t even admit it to ourselves. When I was treated poorly as a refugee in exile, my heart took a different color. I vowed things in my heart that I couldn’t repeat in any setting. I didn’t have to act on them but Jesus tells us that thinking it is more like doing it. He said this when he reminded us that “if anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt 5:28 Does this excuse in any way Absalom’s sin of murdering his half brother Amnon? No, I think it tells us that we should be careful of our human condition so we don’t reach the place he was at. Those who are in Christ Jesus have a worthy and protective refuge. They enter more and more into the mystery of God, so they can be transformed by God’s grace moment by moment. This is the moment we die to ourselves, our pride, our pain, our need for revenge. Jesus can transform such trajectory… He can relieve the burden of the pain and the loss because he promises us that he would carry it so we don’t have to.

Our Gospel Lesson today also tells us about the focus of the Zebedee sons. Again, let us look at them in front of the mirror. What vision did they have? They asked Jesus: “Grant us to sit one at your right hand and one at your left!” They obviously got one thing right: Jesus is King. However, the way they imagined his Kingship must have been glamorous and victorious… Perhaps a King to rescue Israel from the hands of the Romans. It was a cute earthly idea which unfortunately we often have when our focus is only on affairs of this world. Jesus’ reply must have burst their bubble: “You don’t know what you are asking. Are you able to drink from my cup and be baptized with my baptism? Jesus opened their minds to Kingdom reality: There will be suffering/sacrifice before glory. This King is no ordinary King. He will suffer, and the glory is not instant. He said: “If you wish to be great…be the servant of others. Now was this an occasion of embarrassment to the Zebedee brothers looking into the mirror? What were they asking really? What is our most important ambition? Jesus asked: What can I do for you? Being rich and famous? Having divine Wisdom? Having worldly honors and power like Absalom? We need to pray about our own trajectory/ambitions; our lives’ focus.